Sometimes we encounter people who challenge us: neighbors, friends, co-workers, and even family. We might also have strong feelings about people we don’t interact with directly, such as public figures. Learning how to love difficult people can feel especially challenging when their actions have hurt us or others.
But Jesus taught:
Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 5:44
Throughout his ministry, Jesus showed unconditional love toward those who opposed him. His example shows us how to love difficult people more unconditionally and the healing it can bring.
Prayer can teach us how to love difficult people
Prayer helps us look beyond someone’s troubling behavior to understand their true spiritual identity as God’s child. Jesus practiced this.
This doesn’t mean that we think wrong actions are OK. It changes the way we see and respond to someone.
Jesus was firm in correcting wrong thoughts and actions. At the same time, he looked beyond them to see the good in each person.
He taught his followers that we all have the same Father, God, and that as God’s children, we are created in His image and likeness. Someone’s hurtful behavior doesn’t define who they really are.
As Mary Baker Eddy explains in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures:
Jesus prayed; he withdrew from the material senses to refresh his heart with brighter, with spiritual views.
Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy, p. 32:25
Prayer helps us see ourselves and others in a more spiritual way. We begin to understand more about what is true about all of God’s children.
We can also find practical ways to love our neighbor in everyday life, even when it isn’t easy.
How can prayer help me love someone who has hurt me?
Prayer can help us change the way we see someone who has hurt us. Instead of struggling on our own to overcome resentment, we can turn to God to understand more clearly what He knows about each of His children.
It can be hard to change the way we think about someone, especially when we have felt hurt or angry for a long time.
But we can always turn to God in prayer. God knows each of us as His loved child. As we pray, God can help us see ourselves and others more clearly.
Jesus continued to see the good in each person, even when their actions were wrong. He showed what this kind of love looks like even in an extremely difficult situation.
When a mob showed up to arrest Jesus, his follower, Peter, reacted in fear and cut off the ear of the servant of the high priest. But Jesus rebuked Peter’s actions and healed the servant, showing his commitment to seeing the innocence of both and responding to fear with love. (Luke 22:50–51)
Jesus’ example of unconditional love might seem hard to follow. But learning how to love difficult people can begin with small steps. As we pray and learn to see the good in others, healing can follow.
Want to explore more about loving people who are hard to love? Visit a local Christian Science Reading Room, or visit a church in SoCal or worldwide.
